Can you make time your friend?
About deadlines, time schedules and letting go of it all...
When I read this quote by Joan Crawford, I was triggered. After months of trying to live according to what was happening to me and not spending a lot of thoughts on anything related to time, I thought Joan and I are not in alignment with our ideas of time.
“Probably time is my only hangup. I organize myself right down to the second because I'm greedy. Greedy to fill every minute of my days with all the things I want to accomplish. And for the future I only want a small thing: a hundred more years to act, another hundred to learn to paint, a hundred to become a writer, and still another century to get a formal education... Plan. And everything will get done.”
– Joan Crawford, My Way of Life
But I love it when these triggers invite me to write. Not living with a clock makes you feel more connected to the nature of things. You start to feel what time it is, just by looking at the sun or the darkness around you. You will wake up when your body wants to wake and go to bed when you want to sleep.
Hello to the present moment
When I started working I was like Joan, I wanted to do so many things, had so many ideas and just never had time to do everything. A lot has changed since then, because I don’t want to live my life thinking about all the things I could do and want to do. Because it takes you out of the present moment. And the present is the only time you do have. So why bother with questioning and longing for the things you want to do in the future?
Which time schedule suits you?
The time schedule we are used to in our lives is a very male approach to life. And men probably work really well according to this rhythm. Getting up at the same time every day, doing the same things at the same time, with an almost regular amount of energy as well. For women this is completely different as I wrote about in my blog Why Crafting your life is more important for women.
But in the end I think that men can wake up with different feelings every day as well.
Moving deadlines
As I was talking to a coachee the other day we talked about the subject of deadlines and whether moving deadlines is a good thing or not. I always figured that it’s not bad to move a deadline, because sometimes you just need more time. And that is mainly because life just happens in its own rhythm. Life doesn’t really care about deadlines. Sometimes life asks something else from you than the deadline you were supposed to reach. So the question is, can time help you create a life that suits you best or is it actually working against you?
When you want to create something in your life that isn’t there yet, does it help setting a goal or deadline to reach it?
For example, you dream about quiting your job and travel for a year. You want to have enough savings so you don’t have to work that year. And have some money left when you return and start searching for a new job.
It helps to set a date you want to leave. So you have time to save money and plan the trip. But as you are focussing on travelling life can get in the way. You fall in love and you don’t want to leave your partner alone for a year. A relative gets sick and you want to take care of them. You find an amazing new job in a city you would always have loved to live in. And so on. Will you continue your plan of traveling or will you follow what life is asking from you?
Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.
John Lennon
I have always loved this quote by John Lennon, because it is true. You make a plan and life gets in the way. So you can carve out all the time to create what you wanted to, but then things happen and everything changes.
This is not a bad thing, when you allow yourself to be flexible and have some fun with life. Things hardly go according to your plan, so why bother with planning, scheduling and reaching deadlines? Being strict gets all the fun out of the way and blocks creativity. It can even make you loose the energy you had when you first created your plan.
Deadlines can help you move forward
Say you want to write a book, start your own company, go travelling or launch a new product. In this situations a deadline can help you to move towards it. Because you can take a step everyday to get there. You have something to look forward to and you have to do things to get there. This can be a force of energy you need to keep going. But a deadline can only help in certain circumstances:
If you are going after something you really want
If you are flexible to move the deadline if needed
Deadlines for things you don’t really want to achieve are incredibly difficult to reach. Mainly because you have to do things to get there that you don’t necessarily like. Working towards something you really want, might not even need a deadline, because you’ll be doing it anyway.
When we look at time as a non-existent thing (i.e. something generated to make life easier to make appointments) we shouldn’t be afraid to change our deadlines. Life is supposed to be fun and creative. It should give you the opportunity to enjoy the things you want to do. So what does it matter if your book isn’t ready at the end of this month, but two weeks later? I mean, I sent my manuscript to my agent months ago and it is still not ready to go to a publisher, because her life and mine had gotten in the way. Is that frustrating, at times, yes it is. Is it a problem? Not really to be honest. I am doing other things and if the book is meant to be published, it will be, one day or another.
Letting go of time gives you the opportunity to play with life and be gentle with yourself and the world around. And that is especially helpful as we are moving into wintermode. So let go of all the deadlines you don’t want to reach and focus on the things you really want to do.