Why I don’t drink coffee with Greek men
About feeling a definite yes or no and the power of water
This week I was invited several times by my male neighbour for the traditional morning coffee in the village square. This is what Greek men do. They wake up, prepare for their day and go into the village to have their coffee with the other men. Every morning they sit together, enjoying their coffee, still looking a bit sleepy. Sometimes you see them laugh or talk, most of the time they sit in silence, just drinking their coffee.
I always wonder what makes them going about this routine every day?
What my mind told me
I withdraw the invitations, because I didn’t feel like sitting there with them, my mind and body telling me I had a lot of other useful things to do. Of course I felt guilty that I didn’t say yes, but I tried not to think about it too much. In the past I would have said yes, because I wanted to be seen as kind, friendly and obedient, and because I wanted to connect with the locals and maybe even because it would give me a free coffee.
But all these reasons where mind related and because I didn’t feel it, I went home after my shoppings and went back to work. After some weeks of feeling alone on this island it might seem strange to say no, but after one coffee with one of my neighbours a couple of weeks ago, I was sure that this wouldn’t bring me much. And when I don’t feel a yes, I say no 😉.
Where are the women?
It is interesting that you never see women having a morning coffee. After a chat with a friend who lived here for years it seems that the women are at home (cleaning, cooking, relaxing, taking care of the children, etc). She also told me that she just doesn’t feel the need to go out for a coffee every day. That it is a real male thing to do, here in Greece. I feel the same, one day I might like to go, but the other day I want to do something else. Like writing or having a chat with my co-workers online at coffee time. She also said that she always seemed to first check with her friends to see each other instead of letting fate decide who you run into that day.
Feeling a definite yes or no
As I was reading a Dutch book on finding and living your souls mission I was confirmed in my idea about saying yes or no when you feel it. So when I don’t feel like going for a coffee, I don’t do it. Does this mean I’m rude or unfriendly? Maybe, but I don’t want to do things because I am supposed to do them. I want to do it, because it feels absolutely great and I feel a definite yes. So if one of these days I feel an exciting yes, I might join them at the café.
Opening up to new possibilities
Of course I was asking myself, should I do it, because it will bring me something? This was the part of me that sometimes forces myself to step out of my own comfort zone and open up to new possibilities. But this week I gained a lot more from my walks in nature, writing on the edge of a cliff (being a Fearless writer, inspired by
’s book The way of the fearless writer).One of the messages I wrote sitting there was about water.
Water
Can you see the power of water?
Not questioning it’s own existence
Moving with the tide, the weather, the wind
It has an immense power and it has the quality to be soft
It can break through and hold you in its loving embrace
Can you be like water? Powerful and soft?
And the most interesting thing… A couple of days later I read in the book about the fearless writer that we can compare the different stages of writing to the different stages water can be. And this is what I love about life, going about your day, not making a lot of plans and see what comes up. And when you feel aligned, things will start moving in the right direction for you. It happened to me in my life so many times, but at certain points ‘real life’ gets in the way and I loose it. But after this week I can see the alignment coming back and I am motivated to continue on the path that I have choosen.
Thank you for reading this post. I love to hear from you how you manage between saying yes and no in your life. And how you feel you are doing it because you want it, or because you think you have to. If you are trying to say more yes to the things you desire and no to things you don’t like, please become a paid subscriber. So you will receive weekly writing rituals that help you to create the life that suits you best.