Your anger has to tell you something

When you figure out what makes you angry, you'll discover what to do to make the right move

“I am so mad at myself.”

“Do you know why?” she asked with a look in her eyes that showed only love and a willingness to listen to me.

“Maybe because I am not what and who I thought I would be at 45?” I answered with the question marks all over my face.

This conversation happened a couple of weeks ago, when I was in an angry state. Not that I had a lot to be angry about. My life was pretty good, from the outside. I live a peaceful life in Corfu, I have a house, a car, a group of amazing women around me (near and far), I do the work I love to do and I have a lot of time to spend doing the things I like and love.

Everything under control

The anger I felt was connected to the feeling that I did not have my life under control. I wanted to be richer, more connected to nature, a better partner, a better friend. But I couldn’t because I was so angry all the time. Mainly at myself, because there was no one else causing any trouble at the moment.

In Women who run with the Wolves I read that anger is also a good thing, as it can be a force for transformation. But only when anger is looked at and listened to.

And as I am constantly on a path to make a change in how I look at myself, I knew that this anger wanted to teach me something.

I felt there is something bigger behind the rage.

As the weeks progressed and I started to feel calmer again, I could see that I don’t have my life under control and I probably never will. I guess most of us pretend they have it under control. But that might be just the outside. The more I think about it, the more I feel that control starts when you decide there is nothing to control. Because life will take its own turn. And there is no use in going against the stream.

Lessons of my anger

One of the things that made me angry in the last months is the fact that I did not take up a lot of space in my connections with other. For the last two years I have tried to be unvulnerable, keeping up appearances (like I learned from my grandmother).

Until the moment I collapsed in front of one of my new friends and couldn’t hold it in anymore. Suddenly the women were there, capable of holding me in this space. Listening to me, understanding me, supporting me. They even didn’t allow me to say sorry for taking up space, in fact they thanked me for doing so.

Lots of love, Irene

There is wisdom in sharing, because we all go through similar things and we can learn so much from each other.

With the Untamed Woman I create a space for truthful conversations, about life, about walking your own path, about being vulnerable and making mistakes. It is a place for women who are willing to share their true stories and listen to each other. So feel welcome to join the conversation by reacting in the comments.